MOOCHIE'S PLACE

by

Jim Murdock

Synopsis

She likes to eat and he likes to cook. Moochie Dunlop and her husband, Bud Arrington open a home cooking restaurant.

Their many friends help remodel a quaint old building in downtown Athens for Moochie's Place. Bud and UNCLE BILLY rebuild one booth to handle Moochie's girth. They also find a jukebox which belongs to an old woman with a wart in the middle of her forehead who makes a pass at Uncle Billy.

PRETTY BOY, a precocious parrot, who was raised next to the TV of an old movie buff, comes up with hilarious comments at appropriate times, such as "Gawk! Who's your daddy?" When the bird is banned from inside by the Health Department, and forced to stay outside by the door, Moochie and Bud bring a law suit on his behalf. Pretty Boy is kidnapped. There are demonstrations. Clint Eastwood calls offering his support.

Moochie is famous for her hugs. SLAPPER SLOCUM, a neighboring entrepreneur, make a fortune selling T-shirts with Moochie's picture on the front and "I survived a Moochie hug" on the back. It becomes a fad among University of Georgia students.

WILSON LUMKIN, a jealous restauranteur across the street slaps Moochie who returns the favor. He breaks into the restaurant and is the one who hired the kidnapping of Pretty Boy. When he discovers that his grandfather has hidden a fortune in the Moochie's Place building, he breaks in again and later runs Bud off the road putting his life in danger.

Moochie becomes a permanent guest on the "Lay it on Grady Show." She is responsible for it becoming a syndicated radio program. A grassroots "Moochie for President" campaign is started. The attention brings Mike Wallace of 60 Minutes for a rib-tickling interview with she and Bud. Leaders and politicians flock to Moochie's Place for advice and a hug from the new folk hero.

Moochie and Bud buy the building next door, tear a hole in the wall and find the lost fortune. The challenge is to protect the money from Mr. Lumkin.

An arsonist sets the restaurant on fire and Bud's life is in grave danger until he is rescued by Moochie.

Ginger, Bud's daughter, is kidnapped.

Lumkin's final attempt.

The ending might surprise you.

Excerpt

CHAPTER TEN

How To Survive a Moochie Hug By Bud Arrington

One: Hold you head up. When the air leaves your lungs, it's very important that there be a route by which it can return. Otherwise, you might become seriously dead. If you are not tall enough to breathe from the top, try for a spot under her arm.

Two: Reach around her as far as you can and squeeze with all your might. This helps to tighten your muscles and rib cage, preparing them for the expected assault. If you fail to do this in time, then it's important that you completely relax your muscles and go limp. That way she'll think you fainted and let up.

Three: Do not try to keep your feet on the floor unless you are over six feet tall. It will be impossible and will waste energy which might be needed later. Just be aware of where your feet are at all times so that when she lets go, you'll be able to catch yourself. It's best if your feet touch down shoulder width apart. It will give you more stability.

Four: When you land it's important to suck in as much air as possible to replace that which has been squeezed out.

Five: Immediately look around for something or someone to grab onto. It is possible that you will be disorientated, dizzy or just plain stupified. It will hurt if you fall face down on the floor.

Six: It might help if you have something to sip on while you recover: sweet tea, a Coca Cola or a Bud Light(my favorite}.

Seven:Also, recite the Twenty Third Psalm, but not if you're having my favorite above. That wouldn't be respectful and things might backfire on you. If you do all of the above, I'm pretty sure that you will survive, but not certain. So keep your bone doctor's number handy.

It's been said that a hug from my sweet Moochie will cure anything. I don't believe that because a friend of mine got a hug when he had foot fungus, and he's still got it.

Anyhow, if you follow my instructions and are lucky you can proudly say: I SURVIVED A MOOCHIE HUG!

P.S. This is to be given to anyone who buys a Moochie T-shirt or does not have a written will.